Lago de Atitlán & Antigua, Guatemala

The next stop on our trip is Lago de Atitlán, a beautiful lake surrounded on all sides by 3 volcanoes and steep-sided cliffs. To get here, we have a long shuttle bus journey to the nearest city, Antigua, followed by our first shot on the infamous local ´chicken buses´. These legendary buses are already familiar from their former life as U.S. school buses. Here they have made some subtle changes, including painting them various psychadelic colours and adorning the windscreen with assorted rosary beads, religious medals and "Jesus loves you" stickers. The real shock comes when you board the bus and find it crammed to bursting. Picture a Tokyo subway train, with all manner of luggage, livestock and sweet-vendors thrown in. They are dirty, smelly, massively-polluting machines that run without schedules, stopping wherever someone sticks out a hand or shouts loud enough to be heard. They are also a fantastic experience, offering a glimpse of real Guatemalan life away from the tourist shuttle buses, and there is always at least one local keen to engage you in conversation on each journey.

Our luggage is on the roof. Seriously.

After 4 changes and plenty of bargaining over bus fares, we finally reach Panajachel, one of the many villages dotted around the shores of Lago de Atitlán. The village is a bit of a transport hub for the area but has great views across the lake and we find a nice room in a place run by the Guatemalan Mr Miyagi. Each village has its own individual character so we take the opportunity to make the short boat trip to San Pedro, another village across the lake. Unfortunately, like so often in Guatemala, it is again necessary to bargain over prices to minimise the amount of ´Gringo tax´ added to the ordinary fare. Negotiations completed, we set off and are soon exploring the quiet streets and markets. San Pedro has a far more mellowed atmosphere than Panajachel and it's easy to see why a lot of visitors head directly here. There are numerous cafes and restaurants to laze away an afternoon; instead we opt for the local market where we find ourselves among hordes of old local women pointing at pots of stews and sauces. Completely unaware of what we're doing, we mumble some pigeon-Spanish and gesticulate sufficiently to walk away with two plates of what may well be chicken. Or pork. Or vegetables. Regardless, for 40p each it tasted great!

The brown stuff is beans. We think.

After taking our fill, we make our way back to the pier for the return boat trip, lucky enough to catch a boat just about to depart. This being a Guatemalan mode of transport, things were never going to go smoothly. Unfortunately, our particular boat would not make it across: almost perfectly in the middle of the lake, the engine spluttered and died, leaving us drifting at the mercy of the waves. While initially unconcerned, our fears increased when the locals started grabbing life jackets and we quickly realised it would be one between two (if we were lucky). Thankfully, there would be no need to get wet, as another boat soon rescued us all and we continued on our way back.

Sunset over the lake

The following day we set off for one of the biggest markets in Guatemala, held twice a week in the nearby town of Chichicastenango. A riot of colour and noise, it´s famous for both its size and the variety of original Mayan crafts and outfits on offer. This is not only a tourist destination but also a living market for many local people, full of stalls selling all sorts of products, from fruit and veg to light bulb fittings. Picture a bigger and brighter ´barras in the sunshine and you´re halfway there. With a bit of inventive bargaining, we walk away with a pretty scary Mayan mask for just a few quid. After a day of bargaining, we return to Panajachel tired and hungry, so decide to visit our favourite food place, which sells only pupusas (small pancake-like packets of dough with a mix of cheese, beans and other fillings, originally from El Salvador). This place is great because the pupusas are hand-made, the owner always has the football on tv and the beer comes in litre bottles. What more can we ask for?

The food market at Chichi

After a few days relaxing by the lake, we move back to Antigua to spend the weekend. There's a lot going on just now because independence day is celebrated in a lot of the countries across Central America. In all the villages and towns we have visited, there have been parades, parties and celebrations, all leading up to this weekend. There is a party atmosphere as soon as we arrive in Antigua - marching bands make their way through the streets and groups of young people race around bearing flaming torches and singing. While we´re not completely certain of the significance (or safety) of running with flaming torches, they seem to be having fun and it all adds to the party atmosphere.

Don't run with scissors. Or flaming torches.

The highlight are the processions and parades on Saturday, when the streets are lined throughout the day and culminate in a street party in the evening. Not to be excluded, we happily join in, picking up a bottle of rum and some coke to get us in the spirit. Using traditional Polish measures, we set off plastic bottle in hand to join in the party and dance along to the bands. Inevitably, we find ourselves ending the evening on a park bench, surrounded by drunks and late-night revelers. That´s us: bringing the class of Glasgow to the streets of Guatemala.

Street party for independence day

The following morning, our hangovers receding (despite a 40 minute homily in Spanish), we see the city has been transformed and where there were masses of people the streets are now empty. Even without the crowds, Antigua is a fascinating place and we are happy exploring the cobbled streets, people-watching by the fountain in the main square and visiting a few of the churches and ruins dotted across the city. We also go on a trip to hike one of the volcanoes surrounding the city. Despite an eruption at a neighbouring volcano the day before, we're assured it's completely safe. After a fairly easy climb, we can see the crater at the top and spend half an hour roasting marshmallows over the steam vents. The ideal way to relax and unwind after the festivities, and to end our time in Guatemala.

Roasting marshmallows in a volcano

All together, Guatemala has been a place of contradictions. Stunning landscape, colourful fiestas and an interesting indigenous culture were tempered by mediocre food and a widespread desire to extract as many Quetzales (the Guatemalan currency) from tourists as possible. Despite this, we're really glad we came here. Tomorrow we move on to El Salvador and look forward to our first glimpse of the Pacific Ocean...

Flores & Lanquin, Guatemala

"Very good price, Señor!". With these familiar words, we are greeted at the bus station in Belize city; our destination is the Guatemalan border and we have not even stepped out of the taxi. It is a sad fact that travelling breeds cynicism. Often it is warranted, as you will soon read. In this case, however, we have struck gold. Here we find ourselves being offered a taxi direct to the border for the same price as we would otherwise have paid for a long, hot, sweaty bus journey. Quickly accepting the offer, we are whisked to the border in comfort and much quicker than expected. A simple border crossing leads to a minivan waiting to take us to Flores, a picturesque town located on a small hill in the middle of a lake.

Mayan ruins at Tikal

Flores is one of the main towns in this part of Guatemala and a major tourist destination, thanks in part to its proximity to the Mayan ruins at nearby Tikal. It is on arrival in Flores that we first experience the infamous ´coyote´, a seemingly friendly English-speaking local who makes great offers of tours and onward travel with promises of discount rates. Needless to say, these offers are massively inflated prices and attempt to take advantage of newcomers´ lack of knowledge. Thankfully, we have received advance warning of these ´coyotes´, which we are convinced translates into Scots as ´bastards´, and kindly decline his generous offers.

Sitting atop the highest temple

Disaster averted, we set about making our acquaintance with Flores, exploring its cobblestone streets and visiting its lakeside cafes. We also arrange our tour of the Mayan ruins at Tikal, which, despite a 4am departure, proves to be a great trip. We saw tarantulas, monkeys, toucans and parrots, as well as the magnificent Mayan ruins buried deep within the rainforest. We are able to climb to the top of the highest temple in the complex and see the entire maze of ruins laid out before us, with the tops of the highest temples peeking out above the top of the trees. A particular highlight of the tour was witnessing several spider monkeys leaping between the trees above us.

Diving spider monkey

After the early morning rise and the long tour in the humid rainforest, we both feel like a little comfort food, so decide to try a local pizzeria. The aptly-named Pizza Vesuvius could only lead to one end, as we later compete for shots on the throne. Thankfully the eruptions have abated by the time we board our shuttle bus the next morning, which see us head south to the small village of Lanquin, perched high in the Guatemalan highlands. Despite a couple of hiccups (including the entire bus being emptied to allow the driver to wash his bus at a petrol station, and two passengers being asked to sit on what were effectively deckchairs in the aisle of the bus for the entire 9-hour journey), we finally arrive at our destination.

Zephyr Lodge

Lanquin is a shit hole, let´s not pretend. It has nothing to offer visitors (unless you like being ripped off and choking on diesel fumes) except a very short journey to Semuc Champey. Here, however, you will find some of the most dramatic scenery in the country, where natural limestone pools cascade gently above a violent underground river. It´s a stunning location that can only be reached by truck or similar 4x4-equipped vehicle. Predictably, the insane Guatemalan transport situation continues, as we all stand upright hanging on to the back of a pickup truck for the next 45 minutes. After a bumpy ride, we are greeted by awesome views and spend a day exploring the area, climbing the surrounding cliffs and swimming in the cool, clear pools.

The pools of Semuc Champey

Our accommodation in the outskirts of Lanquin, the Zephyr Lodge, was also excellent - great food, great people and great views across the surrounding valleys. The staff at Zephyr can arrange tours and travel around this part of Guatemala, so we choose to spend an afternoon on a tubing trip. This is a simple concept, where you take the inner tube from a tractor tyre, sit in it and allow the current to guide you down the river. Simple, no doubt, yet made a little more interesting by overhanging branches, river rapids and razor-sharp rocks. And of course, the obligatory beer drinking throughout. All capped off by jumping into the river from a tree 10m above. Aptly summed up by Babs as "crazy shit". Great fun mind.

Guatemalan breakfast

We could easily have spent a lot longer in this part of the country, exploring further and relaxing in the comfort of the Zephyr Lodge. But we have more places to visit and will soon be heading south to see more of Guatemala...

Caye Caulker, Belize

When we last left you, dear readers, we were waiting at the port for our trip to Belize. We soon boarded our vessel and crossed the border by speedboat, ably ushered by Belize's answer to Graham Norton. Though he took on a slightly creepier persona when he began offering us his homemade cookies... Our destination was Caye Caulker, one in a long chain of islands that stretch the length of the Belizean coastline.

Beautiful Belize

The sights, sounds and smells of Caye Caulker are dramatically different from Tulum and Mexico. Gone were the paved roads, traffic and Spanish; instead replaced by sandy lanes, golf buggies and barefoot rastas speaking a mix of English and Creole (which sounds mostly like Pirate). At one point Babs was even convinced she saw Jack Sparrow. The pace here is seriously slow, with reports of locals actually telling new arrivals, "slow down - you're walking too fast".



Local bar for local people

After finding a room and freshening up, we set off for our first Belizean culinary experience - and we would not be disappointed. The food in Caye Caulker is truly exceptional, with most restaurants offering fresh lobster for as little as six or seven pounds, as well as lots of other tasty seafood. The highlight was definitely a coconut lobster curry from 'The Budget Man', a street-vendor originally from New York who has retained his Bronx accent and seems to know everyone on the Island thanks to his cries of, "the Budget Man is here!".

Delicious barbequed lobster

Unfortunately we would soon discover that we were not alone in our room, and Ali's bravery would once again be put to the test. This time his opponent was a cockroach so big it really should have been paying for its own room. This would be a test of nerves and of the sturdiness of the sole of Babs' Toms. But there would be only one victor, and the bath would bear the scars of the assault. Despite a hiccup where the 8-legged beast played dead for a few minutes, the job was finished off in style with a full-force wallop that left no doubt over the monster's death. Satisfied with his efforts, Ali quickly appointed Babs undertaker and retreated to the safety of the bedroom while she disposed of the body.

Celebrating the victory!

The following day saw one of the highlights of our trip so far: a sunset and stargazing cruise, with unlimited rum punch and some delicious nachos with a spicy pico de gallo. The sunset from the sailboat was impressive, but the stars were unbelievable. We could see all the constellations and the milky way galazy cutting across the entire sky. As we lay back on the deck of the boat in the balmy evening air, the only sound was the lapping of the water against the sides of the boat and the only sight the millions of stars above. Pure bliss.

Gorgeous sunset

We had pre-booked a snorkelling trip for the next day so we set off the next morning with 2 others to the coral reef that runs the lenth of the country. This was the best snorkelling either of us has ever done. We saw countless fish, swam with turtles, touched the slimy skin of a stingray and even stroked the side of a nurse shark (which is a lot like sandpaper). The coral itself is magnificent, with all sorts of shapes and colours on display.

Relaxing at the Split

After our return, we made our way to the Split, which is a narrow channel cut midway through the Island by Hurricane Hattie in 1961. Here there is the most popular bar on the Island that fills up with a mix of locals (pirates) and visitors to watch the sunset while sipping on a cold beer. This was the perfect way to end our stay in Caye Caulker and our time in Belize. Tomorrow we will set off for Guatemala and the 3rd country of our trip...

Tulum, Mexico

The prologue to our travels. A holiday before the backpacker economy. And what better place to take that holiday. Tulum is a place of azure sea, white sand fringed with coconut-laden palm trees and a 'vibe' so mellow you could lose months rhythmically drifting away on its beach-front hammocks.

Tulum's perfect beach

Our advance planning included the only accommodation booking of our trip - a four night stay at Ahau Tulum, perfectly situated on the Caribbean coast. Despite its picture-perfect location, development has come slowly to the Tulum coastline, perhaps due to its distance from its more famous neighbour Cancun, or nearby party-town Playa del Carmen. Rather than high-end resorts, hotels here offer individual wooden cabañas, spaciously lined up along the beach, each offering a mix of luxury or more basic rooms. Ahau is no exception, where our Guest House provided the ideal place to unwind, relax and melt into the 'mañana' culture.

Hammock time, pre-crab assault

Our days here would be spent reclining on the beach, cooling off with dips in the sea and enjoying the best Mexico has to offer. And that best was certainly the food - it may have become famous the world over, but it's at its best at home. Highlights included the best (and biggest) plate of nachos either of us has ever tasted, extremely filling and often unusual breakfasts (which at times included mashed potato and spicy carrots) and the classic burritos and fajitas. It's no wonder you will struggle to find a skinny Mexican.

Tastiest nachos ever. Fact.

The most dramatic event of these days would come one evening while sharing a romantic moment in a hammock, gazing at the countless stars above. Whether our heat or scent was the culprit, a local crab decided to investigate our presence and began to meander in our direction. Certain that our crustacean friend would not come more than a few feet from us, we watched his sideways crawl and beady eyes with interest. Fascination was soon replaced by terror, as our friend, increasingly resembling a mythical and deadly scorpion in our imagination, sauntered straight under our hammock and paused, claws raised, beneath us. Ali, a gentleman to the end, kindly offered Babs the door first and convinced her to jump out. Unfortunately, it transpired that this particular crab was not intimidated by Babs' presence and remained poised to strike beneath Ali, unperturbed by his screams of Scottish profanities. Deciding he would go down fighting, Ali closed his eyes, said a prayer and rolled out onto the sand. As may be expected, our friend scuttled off down the beach, taking with him Ali's last shred of pride, and accompanied by Babs' laughs of ridicule.

Despite the evening drama, our time was largely filled with inactivity, leaving Sunday as our day to explore. Renting bikes for the day, we set off in the sweltering heat for Tulum-town, set 8km inland from the coast. Our first stop was the church of Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe for morning mass. A bright and noisy celebration, it was remarkable for both the number of young people and children yet its devotion and reverence. Tulum-town itself has little to offer visitors other than a gateway to the coast and nearby Mayan ruins. However, watersports can be arranged at Mot-Mot Diving, and we can reliably confirm that the Mot-Mot Cafe nextdoor offers delightful muffins. 

For all your diving needs...

Under the early-afternoon sun, the heat was even more intense for our return cycle, not aided by Babs' attempts to break the land speed record. Finally arriving back at Ahau, Ali remarked that he hadn't sweat that much since Mr Noble last gave him a good rodgering with a squash raquet. A cold shower has never been so welcome. The remainder of our day was spent lounging by the sea and preparing for our departure to Belize the following day. However, we still afforded ourselves one last indulgence with a delicious meal at the Mexican Grill, washed down with some Coco-Loco (the ingenious addition of rum and coconut).

2 for 1 Coco-Loco

Writing this while waiting at the port for our boat to Belize, we are serenaded with love ballads from the cafe radio, including classics by George Michael and Sinead O'Connor. I am left wondering if our next destination will grip us in the same way as Mexico? Or if "Nothing Compares 2 U" will be this country's most fitting epitaph.